she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
