im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
