I am puke
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Who died my cat blue again?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
