i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
