If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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