You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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