If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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