While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
