Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
