..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
