Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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