saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
