Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
