just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
