If i come over, it means nothing
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
