i may or may not be watching the land before time
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
