Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
