There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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