I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
