Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My pussy is not your playground.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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