It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
