their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
