I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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