Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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