i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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