my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
