At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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