dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she smelled like a LAN party
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize