grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Small penises have feelings too.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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