well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
