yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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