You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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