would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Your penis caused this!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
