And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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