don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
