Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
