did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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