hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
