I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
