Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
