She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
