if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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