using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
