Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
