there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
