Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
