I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
