This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
