You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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