Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
