I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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