Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
