my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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