The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
