dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
