i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
