I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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