yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
