I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
please come you make the beer taste better
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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