It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
