that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
