so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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