nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
