Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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