My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
