The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
