You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize