my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
