you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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