Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
