No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
