and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
