Soap is not a condiment
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
