So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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