Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
