I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
