I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
