ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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