Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pappa wants mamma naked
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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